‘Red One’ review: Chris Evans and The Rock kill Christmas with zero-star, $250 million turd
Kris Kringle, played by JK Simmons as a push-up-obsessed gym rat, is kidnapped after a freelance hacker named Jack (Evans) inadvertently reveals the location of the North Pole to an evildoer. So Santa’s bodyguard, Callum (Johnson, obviously), enlists Jack to rescue Santa and “save Christmas.”